May 17, 2015

Memoirs: My Quarter Life Crisis

I always thought by age 21, I would have a car, flat, boyfriend and a few million pounds in the bank. Delusional much? Fast forward age 24, soon to be 25 and…

It is a reality for a lucky few, but not for me. Putting an age against what you should have achieved in life is quite worrying – sometimes things do not work out the way you want them too. I understand those who are process driven and like things done a certain way, by a certain time and great for you if it works out, but for me that hasn’t happened. 

Khloe - Would rather laugh than cry

Marriage, mortgages, maternity leave – frankly all these things scare me. I am guilty of asking my friends in long-term relationships the same question “So when are you getting married?”. To be honest, people used to ask me that when I was in a relationship and it really grated me. I don’t know why I still ask others that question, maybe it is just something you say like “How are you?”. Do you honestly answer? 

Anyway, back to marriage – what is it exactly? A piece of paper, two rings, and a huge party. Oh, and spending the rest of your life with your ‘soulmate’. I have heard stories of couples marrying after six months, a year, 5 years and so on. How long does it take to get to know someone? Do you ever really know them completely? Who I am I to judge if you’re ready to make the ultimate commitment to someone, good for you. Just make sure you save me some cake.

But in all honesty, the idea of marriage scares me, so does saving for property or having kids. I believe that this formula cast upon us by Western society is damaging. Is there more to life than these three things? ABSOLUTELY. 

I read something on Twitter a few months ago and I resonated with it completely: 

Perhaps this is why I have the travel bug, but waking up in a few years and being able to have the freedom to escape excites me. But on the other hand, I could meet someone and I might have an undiscovered desire for the dreaded three Ms. That is the beauty of life, no matter how much you try to plan or prepare, it will never work out the way you want it to. I do have my five-year plan in place, but it’s more of an outline of things I want to achieve rather than ‘Oh I need to do this before I turn 30’. Sometimes there is beauty in just being, not having to justify your actions to anyone and just doing things the way you want. 

cropped-img_0678.jpg

As long as you have ambitions to better yourself, in career, health, or learning a new skill, I believe this is a way to climb out of the quarter life crisis hole. Or even making a to-do list of errands you really need to get done. Book that dentist appointment, get your cracked iPhone screen fixed (Totally guilty of this) or simply take a day off to go and redeem your Groupon spa voucher. Do YOU. 

Rihanna - not looking for a man

Even if it means taking the time out to reflect on your career and questioning if you really want to continue it for the rest of your life. I believe it is rare for people to say that something (or someone) is not good for them and changing it rather than wallowing in self-pity and letting things continue how they are. If you want to try a different industry, go back to education, start freelancing or take a break and go travelling. Take the risk. It will be worth it.

I would rather look back on my 20s knowing I made good choices for my future than being stuck doing something I hated to please everyone but myself. Life is way too short. Make your mark on the planet, enjoy yourself and live a life for you. Fall in love with yourself along the way…

I have realised that I am content with that, 2015 for me so far has been bittersweet, raw and interesting, but I have invested myself in self-improvement. A good friend of mine encouraged me to ‘break the habit’, ultimately making small changes that have a big impact. This has actually had a big impact on me in terms of routinely going to the gym on a Sunday (an absolute outrage), but it is for my health at the end of the day. If my personal trainer is reading this, I am sorry, I just ate some biscuits…

Khloe - you can f*ck who you want

Having time for yourself is so important, a chance to discover who you are, what you like and what you don’t is valuable. But not having enough time for yourself can be quite damaging too, I always think it is wise to take at least 30 minutes of your day and be alone. Be it having a glass of wine, writing in your diary or just taking the time to get ready for bed, your time is valuable. 

I think it is natural to compare yourself to your peers, in terms of where they are in life. Be it a career, relationship, wealth, health or where they are in their Friday night selfie on Instagram. What is right for them may not be right for you. Judging someone else by your standards isn’t going to make you any happier. Comparison is truly the enemy of joy. 

Once you stop comparing yourself to others and concentrate on you, life becomes much more exciting. 

This post was inspired by meeting up with a few old school-friends for dinner and discussing all of the above and the barrage of Buzzfeed posts dedicated to the quarter life crisis. I am glad I am not on my own in experiencing the QLC, but I am trying to do things to get out of it. This is a great post that summarises it. There are even 25 movies to help you through…

I’ve even included some screen-grabbed quotes from good old Instagram below that I thought went well with this post…

I am turning the big old 25 in a couple of months and yes I am not where I want to be, but I am working on it. So if I want to spend the day in bed watching Netflix, or drinking the bar dry, it is my decision as an adult to be able to do what I want. 

Char xo

Please note – Images in this post have been sourced from Instagram and are only used for reference purposes. They do not belong to me.

56 responses to “Memoirs: My Quarter Life Crisis”

  1. […] say now that I’m really not bothered about my birthday this year. Even though I am hitting the quarter-life mark, I feel like I am in a good place in my life and on the road to self-improvement and doing things […]

  2. […] blogging world has really changed from the days of LiveJournal and MySpace (God I sound so OLD). Now it is more about getting noticed and being rewarded for your efforts. This is not necessarily […]

  3. […] is slowly becoming a city for the ultra-rich, which is great if you are but the opportunities for Generation Y are far and few between. Anyway, back to NYC, cheesy and cliché but I do believe it is where […]

  4. […] over thought it in my head to be the most embarrassing thing you could do. But fast-forward age 25, and 2015, I am a lot more confident in slowly doing things on my own. I truly believe you can […]

  5. […] dreaded turning 25 this year but after a few months I’ve definitely begun to embrace it. I know who I am, where […]

  6. […] glasses come off? Yes they have. Have I become more cynical and emotionless as I go through my quarter-life crisis? Certainly. […]

  7. […] I can only describe Ryanair as organised chaos, after checking the signs for the gate, one blink and it said ‘Final Call’, seriously…why invoke panic in you passengers when they’re travelling. Having never flown with Ryanair before, I wasn’t expecting much in all honesty, and for the price of the flight, the blue and yellow interior of the plane really didn’t bother me much. What riled me most was screaming babies, even after putting my headphones in, I could hear the cries. Yes, I am anti-kids at this point in my life… […]

  8. […] involved Wireless Festival, a trip to STK and my dreaded 25th […]

  9. […] life and just becoming bitter and grumpy (Sorry Roz). Lately, I can admit to becoming a little bitter about certain things but something makes me snap out of it and remember why I’m doing the […]

  10. […] now I can proudly say, every decision I make is for myself. If I want to get weave because it makes me feel like Beyoncé, then that is my choice. If I want […]

  11. […] You have the right to be selfish You may never get this time back, so do you!  You’ll have more than enough time when in a relationship to compromise, so as a singleton why shouldn’t it be all about you? Days/Nights in with Netflix  There is nothing better than binge watching Netflix. Can I get an Amen!? I mean where do I even begin..? Whether it’s Orange is the new black, Prison Break whatever tickles your fancy, just be sure to be positioned nice and comfy and watch some good quality entertainment. Solo YOLO […]

  12. […] Waking up at 1pm with a pounding headache, nausea and dehydration was just a reminder of how much fun I’d had the night before. I don’t even remember how we got back to the hotel, putting on my pyjamas or getting into bed. All I can say is Ciroc Apple is blacklisted in my never drinking again list. I don’t think I’d felt this bad since my trip to Manchester last year. When will I learn to know my limits? […]

  13. […] teeth don’t happen overnight, these things take time! Time to get brushing and put down the snacks (but not the cocktails!). After speaking with Charlie at Regenerate, I headed downstairs and […]

  14. […] Freedom. In that moment, I felt invigorated, proud, happy and in awe. I could die tomorrow and be okay with it. If you didn’t manage to get tickets, I AIN’T SORRY (I need to stop), but you […]

  15. […] the day before, I hadn’t realised how tired I was until I was still in bed at 11.30am watching Season 3 of Pokemon (Yes, Pokemon). As the clock kept ticking, I forced myself to shower, put my face on and head on […]

  16. […] soirée. I have planned every inch of my 1920s themed wedding here (all I need is the ability to clone myself…): <a data-pin-do=”embedBoard” data-pin-board-width=”900″ […]

  17. […] same thing week in and week out because monotonous and BORING. Maybe it’s because I’m over the 25 mark now and I prefer to travel and see the world instead of a hangover every weekend.   Sleep! SLEEP […]

  18. […] realised his nutrition was the one thing he could change for a better life. He decided to leave his high-flying city job and venture into the unknown world of food to get people to eat better. A risky, but inspiring move […]

  19. […] so I hopped in the lift and made my way up to the JessWrightXKiss shindig. Of course, me being me – I took the wrong exit out of the lift and knew I was in the wrong area when I could see […]

  20. […] I hope to reenact this video (and probably cry when I realise I’m still going through my quarter life crisis). Hopefully I’ll find the answers to everything… Other notable mentions: Lucky, […]

  21. […] Harlem, my first New York pizza and a basketball game. Even looking at this sentence is making me tired – how we did this all in such a short trip still perplexes me but I guess it made up for my […]

  22. […] It could be much worse, but here are a few photos from my trip to LA and Vegas… The detailed posts will be up over the next few weeks; that way I’ll be able to re-live it with you […]

  23. […] Rome last December and inhaled the best pizza I’ve ever had in my entire *cough cough* 26 years on this planet. I obviously had to do some detailed research in New York to […]

  24. […] it have been? All I wanted to do was get on the plane, chill out, have a drink and sleep but nope. My personal admin follows me absolutely everywhere. *sigh* It turns out if you get a new passport, you also need a new ESTA… Might as well […]

  25. […] that matters. I also think it is important to add that it isn’t the ultimate goal in life to be married or in a relationship. I personally think self-fulfilment and personal happiness is much more […]

  26. […] You feel like the abs are finally starting to come through after laughing so much. […]

  27. […] No and I’d love to change it but all the paperwork puts me off. Who is a mentor to you? My friends. Would you ever want to be famous? If so, what for? I don’t know if I’d want to be […]

  28. […] definitely know how to make a girl feel good about themselves. But nonetheless saving isn’t a bad thing… It’s easy to blame the ‘system’ for why it has been increasingly […]

  29. […] this post was inspired by the change in season or the fact that I’m still going through my quarter life crisis. But sometimes nights in are the best way to be, relaxing and recharging for all those future […]

  30. […] you ever scroll through Instagram and one of those life quotes resonate with what you’re going through in […]

  31. […] wake up early. I don’t know if I’m one of these successful, I don’t hit the gym in the AM, nor do I get to work early but I do enjoy the following about this time of […]

  32. […] of making resolutions, I’ve vowed to myself to make mini milestones rather than committing to the whole ‘new year, new me’ palava. I’d previously […]

  33. […] that resembles NYC on a smaller scale. Would I want to live here? I’m not sure; I’m a strong believer in having four seasons to get me through the year as I don’t really like hot weather, I […]

  34. […] I hadn’t done an internal flight in the US for about 10-15 years (that makes me feel so OLD) and I forgot how tiny the planes were. If I closed my eyes for long enough I’d be on my own […]

  35. […] two year iPhone 7 contract. *sigh*  BE YOUR OWN BAE  I’m slowly getting out of my quarter-life crisis and a few things have happened in 2016 to make me realise life is way too damn short. I can happily […]

  36. […] years and travelling has really helped me find myself and overcome certain things (like the dreaded quarter life crisis). It’s definitely the planning, the preparation and taking you out of your comfort zone that […]

  37. […] What is your current bed time read? Scrolling through Twitter. I really need to get out of this habit and start reading again. Does anyone have any recommendations? What would I find on your bedside […]

  38. […] flights were cheaper than a pair of Joni jeans from Topshop and that just makes you think about the opportunities out there for us […]

  39. […] let’s face it, I want a car but the not the responsibility (much like a lot of things in my life). Here are a few things I notice on my tube […]

  40. […] that lipstick or perfume on a night out”. I’m guilty of this too, but as I battle my quarter life crisis I wonder if I’m using this as excuse to live beyond my means and harbour expensive […]

  41. Musings: Home | Memoirs & Musings says:

    […] whose parents have happily helped them, inherited some money or just sheer good luck got on the property ladder before all this shit. By shit, I mean the idea of owning your own home is now a distant dream for […]

  42. […] so anything “healthy” is being thrown out the window – I’ll worry about the gym when I’m back. Anyway, the scrambled eggs were light and fluffy, the brown toast was soft […]

  43. […] 3 years until I enter a new decade. 7 years since I entered my 20s. Am I still going through my quarter life crisis? Is it just a part of who I am now? Am I a lost millennial figuring out life? Whilst I may not […]

  44. […] I don’t know if I’ve consumed way too many steak bakes in my time but this pasty just felt a little empty? The pastry was absolutely huge though. It might be worth another visit to try a few more in […]

  45. […] read the script as 1) I didn’t want to ruin it 2) I find scripts hard to read, they remind me of A-Level English Literature where I pretty much tuned out when it came to Shakespeare. I love reading but I need to be seduced […]

  46. […] if it’s with pizza… all the better. I must again make it clear that I do not intend on marrying an American Hot. Well after the year 2020, I may re-consider my thoughts… Being the skim […]

  47. […] whose parents have happily helped them, inherited some money or just sheer good luck got on the property ladder before all this shit. By shit, I mean the idea of owning your own home is now a distant dream for […]

  48. […] Have you ever had that feeling where you feel like nothing affects you? You know, getting a catty e-mail from your most despised colleague and not even batting an eyelid like you usually do. This is a definite sign you need a change. One of the best ways to gain perspective is to travel, put yourself into new surrounds for a long weekend or a week if your budget allows. This will give you time to think, gain perspective and hopefully come home with a renewed sense of hope to change you or the things around you. […]

  49. […] absolute favourite of the ones I tried. I was quite shocked as some strawberry drinks tend to be overly sweet and I haven’t tasted enough rhubarb in my life to comment. The taste was light, but actually […]

  50. […] I couldn’t wait to eat, so I ordered the steak and happily tucked into all of the bread whilst waiting for my main. The good thing with eating alone, I don’t have to be conscious about what I order (you know those friends that make you feel that tinge of guilt… ugh). The steak was SO good, albeit a tiny bit salty for me, but it was so tender, tasty and I could slice through it like a lightsaber going through butter. It hit the spot. After my overindulgent meal, I came back to my room to take part in activity number two: chilling. […]

  51. […] Moonwalking is the hardest thing on the planet next to understand how to use the Northern line. Embrace who you are, embrace your flaws (if you can) or just fake it to you make it and moonwalk all over those enemies of progression.  […]

  52. […] Magaluf, there is SO much more to it than partying. Whilst it may be popular for the under 25s (I have closed this chapter of my life goodbye), it’s a great place for *cough* families and […]

  53. […] I’m NC45 for reference and this is an interesting tattoo that reminds me of when I was dumb and young. I’m still dumb but not young… […]

  54. […] You may never get all this time back, so do you! You’ll have more than enough time when in a relationship to compromise, so as a singleton why shouldn’t it be all about you? Image sourced from Unsplash. […]

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