I would like to think that not many people would want to admit this, but I really dislike my own birthday.
There is something about being the centre of attention and the added social pressure of “having to do something” that really grates me. Perhaps it is because I haven’t had what I would deem a “good birthday” since I was a kid – who knows?
But as an adult, once July rolls around, I seem to avoid the whole issue of my birthday. Others I know plan their special days, months in advance with a venue, outfit and all sorts of elaborate plans. In my head, my perfect birthday would be spent on my own shopping, hitting a spa and an overnight stay in a countryside hotel (or abroad!). I would definitely much rather spend the day with myself or a really close friend and do something low-key. This year, my reality is more ice-cream, my bed, and Netflix and in all honesty, I am really content with that.
To backtrack…last year, was the first time I around four or five years I had done “something” for my birthday and guess what – I still felt exactly the same as I do now in regards to making plans…
*delete as appropriate
Friends suddenly became flakey when I had asked them if they were coming and I couldn’t help but feel that tinge of disappointment within. Perhaps it echoes the sentiment mentioned in this article:
“Birthdays are a reminder that people are supposed to love you and make a big deal about you, but it never quite happens that way”.
I don’t know if this entirely applies to me but I do agree that “it never quite happens that way”, echoing my notion about feeling the exact same year-on-year. Are my expectations of people too high or I am not respectful enough of the fact that we are all on our own paths? Perhaps birthdays seem to become more meaningless as we get older? Perhaps getting older is just a state of mind? Perhaps there should be more focus on just being? But…
Maybe it’s the thought of getting older or all the attention, or just having to feel like I’m validated by having a social event. I just really dislike my birthday – much preferring seeing others having fun on their special days. I’ve felt the same way about my birthday since I was about 13 and I don’t see my thoughts changing anytime soon.
Don’t get me wrong – I am a grateful to be alive and see another day but this is just an opinion on my own personal situation. I have definitely have hit the place where I don’t need to explain myself or justify my actions to anyone anymore.
I am glad I can look back and say now that I’m really not bothered about my birthday this year. Even though I am hitting the quarter-life mark, I feel like I am in a good place in my life and on the road to self-improvement and doing things the way I want. I am doing something low-key the day before, so technically it doesn’t count as my birthday (well to me it doesn’t), just an average night out.
Myself, Ben, Jerry, and Netflix will be getting acquainted very soon.
Please note – images in this post do not belong to me. They have been sourced from Unsplash for reference purposes only.