May 22, 2016

Musings: Commuter Quirks from Life in London

I get on the tube every single day because car life is a distant memory and let’s face it, I want a car but the not the responsibility (much like a lot of things in my life). Here are a few things I notice on my tube travels
  • Manspreaders – I already have thick thighs and you wanna spread yours so wide and for what purpose? If you need some breeze – wear a skirt! Zara have some lovely ones in at the moment.
  • Reading over my newspaper – Did you not see The Metro piled high as you were walking into the station…? Is my newspaper communal? NO – Then please keep your eyes to yourself.

Ain't nobody got time for that

  • Reading over my phone – This is where I start typing very crude WhatsApp messages to my friends in attempt to make the person reading over me feel very uncomfortable. Just leave me alone to play Candy Crush in peace – you’re throwing me off my groove!
  • Clipping nails – Enough said. Don’t do it.
  • People who think their bags deserve a seat – Does your bag have an Oystercard? Then move it before I sit on it (and you too).
  • Backpacks and suitcases – I get it, you’re going on holiday (or just coming back), but please don’t knock me over with your backpack or let your suitcase roll down the carriage.
  • People who can do their make up on public transport – I love watching people do their make up on the tube, it’s like a real life YouTube tutorial on a drab to fab everyday work look. In my eyes, if you can apply winged liner whilst on a rickety train, you deserve that raise.

Amen!

  • Body odour – If you have time to grab your £4 coffee from Starbucks in the morning, you have time to shower or at the very least put on some deodorant. The ideal personal space radius is already compromised on public transport, so having to inhale someone’s dank body odour at 8.23am is frankly sickening. I find that men (not all of y’all, chill) are the worst offenders, especially when one arm is in the air and you can see the darkened sweat circle of doom.
  • The personal space radius – Along with bad body odour, I hate being so close to a smelly stranger that it becomes awkward if you don’t kiss. I guess it’s called a tube for a reason
I guess if we didn’t have all these little quirks, life would be static and boring . What is the weirdest thing you’ve seen on public transport?

Char xo

 

24 responses to “Musings: Commuter Quirks from Life in London”

  1. […] Why do they never seem to pay their taxi drivers – they just seem to hop out the car. […]

  2. […] like I have no cares in the world. Living and working in London can sometimes make you feel like a stressed out soulless zombie caught in a spin cycle of pollution and signal failures. But  euphoria is comparable to one of the most carnal feelings a human can experience and as I […]

  3. […] Food EAT. Food is fuel. Feeling hot hot hot… Sometimes I wonder how I function without two coffees a day but they really do get me through. I don’t know if it’s the warm feeling it gives me or […]

  4. […] rinse twice before applying conditioner. This is because London is dirty, I’m forever on the tube and I like to think I go to the gym five times a week. This used along with Smoothing Therapy […]

  5. Oh my god, yes – all of these! Although I’ve not come across anybody clipping their nails (AND THAT IS GROSS), the nosey idiots who sit and try and read your phone on the tube / train make my blood boil! Great post! 🙂

  6. […] I think it’s one of the reasons I’m so attuned to waking up early, the quiet of the morning, the sun awakening us to let us live another day and the solace that comes from a morning […]

  7. […] represents you? Water 💦 Who do you want to be closer to? No one currently – I like my personal space! Do you miss someone at the moment? No.   Tell us about an early childhood memory. I really […]

  8. […] I need to take a leaf out of the L.A book and loosen up. I’ve always wondered if London makes me hostile anyway? The karaoke singers at Bar10WeHo were so talented, well I’m not 100% sure looking back […]

  9. […] If you want to see what London is really all about, it’s time to hop aboard a famous red double-decker bus. Securing a seat at the front on the top deck is something that takes a certain amount of skill in some cases, and pure luck in others. The best times to do venture out on a bus is after the morning rush hour and before the evening one, so anytime between 10am and 4pm.  It offers you the chance to see just how close everything in London actually is to each other. But if you’re ever wondering what the tube is like… be my guest… you’ve been warned.  […]

  10. […] going away in the summer is the best part of anyone’s year. Nothing’s as good for escaping the daily grind. We’re going to go ahead and assume you’ve got travel guides galore (Or have read through all […]

  11. […] It perplexes me how people can live and work in London comfortably. […]

  12. […] aware this is the world’s shortest blog post. I wrote this out of frustration of being on the Central Line (which is around 26C all year round) and feeling […]

  13. […] am highly aware this post may be offensive to some but it is highly satirical. In a strange way, I love the Tube yet hate it at the same time, it is what makes London […]

  14. […] app within it and lets you know how soon you can be at the restaurant at. Or if you prefer good old TFL, it syncs one of my favourite apps, CityMapper, which I have also written about here. Overall, the […]

  15. […] wants to see my odd flesh coloured Spanx (which are beige, I’m NC45), at 8.34am in the middle of King’s Cross anyway. However, I have found a brilliant alternative and all it requires is switching the material […]

  16. […] It perplexes me how people can live and work in London comfortably. […]

  17. […] I’m SICK TO DEATH OF GETTING ON THE TUBE. Imagine life getting Uber EVERYWHERE with no more inhaling scents of the general public…  […]

  18. […] is the hardest thing on the planet next to understand how to use the Northern line. Embrace who you are, embrace your flaws (if you can) or just fake it to you make it and moonwalk […]

  19. […] Yo, you got any games on your phone? Forever taking photos in inappropriate places. Forever realising there is mascara on my lid. Forever realising I’M TIRED. P.S. I hate the tube… check out my commuter quirks post here. […]

  20. […] after a rude 2am wakeup call and with my taxi booked for 3am to go to Stansted airport, I was tired *but* excited […]

  21. […] is breathtaking and as the train winds along the coast, you’ll soon wonder why you put up with TFL at all. It always makes me wonder for how much longer I will do the London grind, but I always draw […]

  22. […] is breathtaking and as the train winds along the coast, you’ll soon wonder why you put up with TFL at all. It always makes me wonder for how much longer I will do the London grind, but I always draw […]

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