January 24, 2018

Musings: How To Stop Being A Flake

Before I continue this post, I must confess, I too have been a flake in the past and still can be. When I’m not feeling something, it’s really hard for me to convince myself to show up or respond to messages. I mean I’ve even written a post about my love for cancelled plans, so me writing this post could be a tad out of character and a bit hypocritical but us humans are allowed to change right…?

What is the act of being a flake or flaky you ask?

Thanks Urban Dictionary. 
Anyway, this year I’ve started off with the mantra of ‘Just get it done’ and I’ve also stopped being the one to make plans with people because I always seem to be the one making the effort. I get it, some people are planners and some aren’t but it’s annoying when you feel like everything is all on you? I’m letting the ‘Let’s do dinner’ come from someone else for once. I wonder how many will come to fruition?
It’s almost the end of January and I’ve been to the gym 4-5 times per week (only cancelled one session with my PT), drank a lot of water and made some travel plans for the rest of the year. I’m in the mindset of putting plans in motion to live my best life which mainly revolves around having peace of mind. Anyway, you’re probably thinking, how does this relate to one stop being a flake? Well, to put it simply, I don’t want to be mediocre anymore. I have to keep repeating to myself, ‘save your future self from working hard’. I really do want to retire at 40 (ambitious, I know), so doing things now is going to get me on my way. I have to stop being a flake to myself and other people, and here is how:


Consistency is the MAJOR KEY.

Do I need to write anymore on this point, I suppose so. I think the ones who get ahead in life are consistent because their driven by some desire, albeit passion, money or happiness. In this little blogosphere, I have tried to stay consistent with my content, my creativity and who I am. However sometimes a path of inconsistency could open up doors for you to find out what you like and don’t like so try it for a while!


Don’t ask, don’t get.
Sometimes we never know what opportunities are out there until we ask. Want that raise? Ask. Want that guy or girl’s number? Ask. We are in a world of entrepreneurs, people doing what they want of their own back all because they know how to use their talent and harness the talents of people around them. Whilst being persistent may not be in your nature, try it sometime but there is a fine line between being persistent and pestering; just don’t go down the spam route. Be honest, be you, don’t be afraid to take rejection.




Effort really is subjective. I was out with a group of friends the other week (we meet up quarterly or every other month) and we’re all busy so arranging a date in the first place is hard. We all were talking about future plans and even the effort of meeting up that evening was different for all of us. I’d just come from work so it wasn’t too bad at all (I love a mid-week mate date), but one had to ask her partner to babysit that evening, which obviously took some planning. If one of us had decided to cancel last-minute, it seems a bit disheartening as you never 100% really know what someone is going on in their personal life, if they needed that catch up or the effort they’d gone to be there. Seeing your friends or meeting up with them every now and then is a form of self-care… 
Whilst these points may help, the only one that can stop you being a flake is you. Your bed will always be there, so get out once in a while and get like Cardi B and make some schmoneeeey.

Char xo

  Gifs sourced from GIPHY, they do not belong to me.

9 responses to “Musings: How To Stop Being A Flake”

  1. nadaliebardo says:

    I really enjoyed how you broke this down logically. It really does that effort and commitment to not flake or be a flopartist as I like to say.

  2. Katey says:

    😀 I’m a flake. My brother texted me about a bbq at a friend’s place tomorrow, and I really don’t feel like going, so I’ve just ignored it. I feel so bad though, and that I should go.

  3. […] those who do need a nudge, I’ve written a post on ‘How to stop being a flake‘ which they may want to […]

  4. […] It’s okay to complain because if your food is bad in a restaurant, are you happily gonna sit there and then pay for it? NO. […]

  5. […] So I was actually meant to go to Venice/Verona with a friend but they flopped and I had already booked my flights, so a solo trip it was. I’m happy that I’m comfortable enough in myself and who I am to venture solo as some of the best adventures aren’t to be shared. And if you’re someone who likes to cancel on friends/family a lot, you may want to read my post aptly titled ‘How Not To Be A Flake‘. […]

  6. […] Anyway, after a rude 2am wakeup call and with my taxi booked for 3am to go to Stansted airport, I was tired *but* excited to head to my favourite European country.  My trip was actually meant to be with a friend but it didn’t come to fruition and I had already booked my flights, a solo trip it was meant to be. I’m a strong believer in the fact that if it’s not booked, it’s not happening… […]

  7. […] a call or arrange a future date. We’re all to be old to be ‘ghosting’, acting flakey and airing each other. Be honest, get it together and enjoy each other’s company. Imagine […]

  8. […] Cancelled Plans. I really need to stop saying this but it’s SO HARD. Perhaps I shall just start flaking on everyone again? *insert ghost […]

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About Me

Welcome to my little space on the internet, known as Memoirs and Musings. I’m Char, short for Charlotte and my blog/website/diary is dedicated to documenting my Memoirs and Musings, hence the name. I wouldn’t say I was your ‘typical’ blogger either. I don’t care about getting the perfect flatlay or feeling bad for not posting, I just enjoy writing. If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading. Anyway, I love to travel, indulge in a glass of white wine, when plans are cancelled and purchase overpriced make up.  I guess that’s me in a nutshell, trying to figure out this thing called life, have fun and never lose sight.