June 9, 2020

Musings: 50 Thoughts I Had Watching 50 Shades Of Grey For the 894739th Time

Day 4985403985th in quarantine has been pretty interesting so far and I’ve fallen down the ‘let’s watch the Fifty Shades of Grey’ black hole. Judge me if you will but I’ve read the book series and well it’s the 2010s BDSM Mills and Boons. 

Whilst you read this post I’m going to need you to load up Fifty Shades of Grey on Netflix. If it’s not available in your region, I’m sure you can find a bootleg version by now (I am not endorsing this behaviour but merely giving you another option). 

  1. Who has their shirts equally spaced out? Is this retail or your wardrobe? 
  2. What student apartment is this big and when can I move in?
  3. Why is Anastasia dressed like a librarian?
  4. Why would you kiss your evidently sick friend on the forehead? 
  5. Who suddenly rolls up and parks without paying or locking their car door?
  6. I’m confused about how she just fell into the room.
  7. Is Christian Grey’s walking style choreographed?
  8. Why didn’t Anastasia wear lip balm?
  9. Why didn’t the PA knock before entering? Rude. 
  10. If my roommate took the sandwich I was making out of my hand whilst I was making it, I’m throwing hands. 
  11. Why does she keep chewing on pencils? Is this a visual euphemism
  12. Why do all their clothes look so starched? 
  13. Jose is so deep in the friend-zone.
  14. Why would a billionaire buy his own DIY equipment when he has an army of servants? 
  15. Mr. Grey is very rigid. He walks like a wind-up toy.
  16. In the coffee shop “Sorry I can’t”… they didn’t even take a sip of tea – WASTEFUL MUCH.
  17. “Stay where you are I’m coming to get you”… but Anastasia never told him where she was. What in the B613 is going on here?
  18. Is fainting whilst drunk a thing? 
  19. Why does Elliott look like he hasn’t showered in years?
  20. Don’t you need to sign a waiver before you get in a helicopter? 

At this point I’m only 34 minutes and 27 seconds in but I must continue.

21. You get hit with a NDA on your first date? Wow. Where is Olivia Pope and Annalise Keating when you need them?

22. That’s a lot of apparatus.

23. Who cleans this apparatus? 

24. This is not how it happens. AT ALL. 

25. Should there not have been more a build up beforehand?

This is the point where I gave up because I’m not giving this movie anymore free PR. 

Read more:

Char xo


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About Me

Welcome to my little space on the internet, known as Memoirs and Musings. I’m Char, short for Charlotte and my blog/website/diary is dedicated to documenting my Memoirs and Musings, hence the name. I wouldn’t say I was your ‘typical’ blogger either. I don’t care about getting the perfect flatlay or feeling bad for not posting, I just enjoy writing. If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading. Anyway, I love to travel, indulge in a glass of white wine, when plans are cancelled and purchase overpriced make up.  I guess that’s me in a nutshell, trying to figure out this thing called life, have fun and never lose sight.