Day 4985403985th in quarantine has been pretty interesting so far and I’ve fallen down the ‘let’s watch the Fifty Shades of Grey’ black hole. Judge me if you will but I’ve read the book series and well it’s the 2010s BDSM Mills and Boons.
Whilst you read this post I’m going to need you to load up Fifty Shades of Grey on Netflix. If it’s not available in your region, I’m sure you can find a bootleg version by now (I am not endorsing this behaviour but merely giving you another option).
- Who has their shirts equally spaced out? Is this retail or your wardrobe?
- What student apartment is this big and when can I move in?
- Why is Anastasia dressed like a librarian?
- Why would you kiss your evidently sick friend on the forehead?
- Who suddenly rolls up and parks without paying or locking their car door?
- I’m confused about how she just fell into the room.
- Is Christian Grey’s walking style choreographed?
- Why didn’t Anastasia wear lip balm?
- Why didn’t the PA knock before entering? Rude.
- If my roommate took the sandwich I was making out of my hand whilst I was making it, I’m throwing hands.
- Why does she keep chewing on pencils? Is this a visual euphemism
- Why do all their clothes look so starched?
- Jose is so deep in the friend-zone.
- Why would a billionaire buy his own DIY equipment when he has an army of servants?
- Mr. Grey is very rigid. He walks like a wind-up toy.
- In the coffee shop “Sorry I can’t”… they didn’t even take a sip of tea – WASTEFUL MUCH.
- “Stay where you are I’m coming to get you”… but Anastasia never told him where she was. What in the B613 is going on here?
- Is fainting whilst drunk a thing?
- Why does Elliott look like he hasn’t showered in years?
- Don’t you need to sign a waiver before you get in a helicopter?
21. You get hit with a NDA on your first date? Wow. Where is Olivia Pope and Annalise Keating when you need them?
22. That’s a lot of apparatus.
23. Who cleans this apparatus?
24. This is not how it happens. AT ALL.
25. Should there not have been more a build up beforehand?
This is the point where I gave up because I’m not giving this movie anymore free PR.
Read more:
- Do These Things To Bring A Little Happiness To Your Day
- Modena: Where Timeless Elegance Meets the Thrill of Speed
- IRIS AVENUE: REVIEW
- 100 x COWBOY CARTER LYRICS FOR YOUR INSTAGRAM CAPTIONS
Char xo
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